No Vacation for You

I haven't had a vacation in four years, and I don't expect one next year either.

This July, my family demanded some 'together time' so I took them up to a cabin in Michigan. Along the way I did signings. And I brought my laptop.

My two closest friends, whom I've known for 26 years, coerced me into taking a three day weekend off to go on brewery tours. I went with them, but managed to fit in a library event while they were boozing it up.

The kids have been off school for a week, and I managed to do some bonding. But I also did some editing, some writing, some website updating, and a few blog entries.

Am I missing out on life? In a word: Yes. And since misery loves company, I want you to miss out too.

• Can't find an agent?
• Can't sell your book?
• Getting a lot of rejections?
• Stuck on that short story?
• Book not selling well?
• Disappointed by your numbers?
• Haven't finished that novel?
• Unable to find a new publisher?

My question for you is: How much time have you put in?

Remember listening to your grandparents talk about the Great Depression? They used words like "Sacrifice" and "Hard work."

Writing involves sacrifice and hard work. That means denying yourself some things, like friends and family and free time. If you want to make it, you have to put in the hours.

I'm not going to argue that your writing is more important than your children---that isn't true. Family is far more important than career. But if your family loves you, they'll also understand how important your career is, and give you time to pursue it.

If you want to succeed in this biz, be prepared to make sacrifices and find the time to get things done.

Here's a handy list of some things you can sacrifice:

• Vacation
• Friends
• TV
• Going out
• Reading
• Surfing the Internet
• Sleep
• Eating

The harder you work, the better your chance at success. This is a business about persistence, not talent. Asimov wrote 400 books. James Reasoner just finished his 185th. How many have you done?

Now I fully expect some vehement disagreement. Replies that speak of values and priorities and happiness and importance, and examples of authors on the bestseller list who take plenty of time off. I'm sure plenty of folks will feel sorry for my family, or for me for not 'getting it.' Some of you will insist you can have your cake and eat it too, and some of you may indeed do that.

But the next time you're lamenting your career, ask yourself two questions: What have I done so far? & What have I sacrificed?

If you've never finished a novel, have only gotten 50 rejections, and plan on using the holiday break to relax, are you entitled to the disappointment you feel about the state of your writing career? Or if you published your book, then did minimal self-promotion, can you really feel betrayed that you sold so poorly?

Here's an axiom that no one likes, me included, but I adhere to it anyway:

"You can always do more."

And the next time you're relaxing, pick up a copy of Who's Who, or crack open a history book, and look at all of the successful, famous people that our society reveres. How many of them are in there for being good parents? For taking vacations? For watching a lot of television? For partying with friends?

Happy Holidays! I gotta get back to work.

When Did You Know?

I'm often asked when I knew that I wanted to be a writer.

I knew in fifth grade, in December of 1979. I was 9 years old.

I wrote a poem called "Cool Santa's Jingle Bells" and read it to my class, and my teachers praised me like praise was going out of style. My parents also heaped on the praise, and I was forced (though not very reluctantly) to read the poem at our Xmas dinner for all the relatives who then (you guessed it) praised me highly.

Was the attention I got for this poem what made me seek attention into adulthood? Maybe. But I really think there's something in me that makes me want to create things, whether I get praised from them or not.

I'd done a lot of writing prior to that poem, though I never considered it writing. I'd put stories down on paper to entertain myself, much as other children drew pictures.

But after this poem, I suddenly realized two major things. First, that my writing could make people other than myself happy. And second, that I was apparently pretty good at it, because it only took me about twenty minutes to write that poem, during a math lesson.

As I grew, I continued to write stories. But when I got a video camera in 1983 I began to make movies, and my passion changed from the written word to the visual expression of it.

The movies quickly became pretty elaborate, and usually involved me murdering my younger brother (they were rip-offs of Friday the 13th.) We had a large back yard, with woods, and after several dumb jokes and some first person POV stalking, I'd chase him into the woods and cut him in half. We accomplished this effect by burying Mikey in the dirt up to his chest, then making a fake chest that he stuck his upper body through. Add some fake legs, stuff his body cavity with animal organs from the butcher and jackrabbit pumps filled with blood, and I'd drive a knife into his chest and pull out his entrails while bloody squirted out from six different hoses and he screamed like crazy.

Ah, my teenage years...

My interest in video lead to film and TV, and to Columbia College in Chicago where I took classes in both, as well as creative writing.

I got A's in film and TV, and C's in writing.

During college I made some pretty good movies and videos. A 16mm film I did called INVADER used everything I knew about SPFX and filmaking and produced a 50 minute epic of car chases, miniatures, chainsaw fights, beheadings, dismemberments, alien vomiting, and even a sex scene. It played in a local festival, and audiences dug the over-the-top horror mixed with humor.

Also in college I did some cable tv, some corporate video, and some theater improv, along with writing. I knew I'd wind up doing something creative with my life.

After graduation, getting a job in Chicago during a recession proved impossible. I'd written a lot up to that point; three screenplays, two plays, four sit-coms, two novellas, and hundreds of short stories.

Since no one would hire me for TV or film (I went to LA for two weeks to try to get agents interested--they weren't) I decided the only venue left open was writing. So I wrote a novel, and got an agent immediately, and you know how the rest of the story goes (if you don't, visit my website.)

But I can trace all of that back to that one poem in 5th grade...

Cool Santa's Jingle Bells

Well, all the cool eleves in town came walking down the street,
Saying "Have a cool Christmas" to everyone they'd meet,
Everyone was waiting for Santa's clock to ring,
So he'd wake up, walk the street, and listen to them sing,
His song wasn't very good, but it wasn't very bad,
It wasn't very cheery, but it wasn't very sad,
"Hiya Cool Santa!" the elves started their song,
"Did you have a good night's sleep, and was it very long?
If not Mr. Groovy, then please get some more sleep,
For you must guide the reindeer, up the ramp, and it is steep,
After you jump the ramp and sail into the sky,
You will say, "C'mon you dudes!" and the reindeer will start to fly,
Man, you are quite a site, in your hipster glasses,
And your sleek black coat, which is leather and made in Frances,
You are the coolest dude of all, bringing toys to boys and girls,
From mini bikes to mini trikes, and hip China dolls with curls!"
Santa thanked the elves for the song that was just right,
Then he yelled, "Have a cool Chirstmas, and to all a cool good night!"
The elves scampered all over, to watch the sleigh take off,
The Ruldolph in his dark sunglasses gave an awful cough,
The neato sleigh went straight down, Rudolph landed on his head,
Then Dasher, Dancer, Prancer... then Santa, was he dead?
The elves ran to the place where Santa's sleigh had crashed,
Prancer was all mangled, Rudolph was all mashed,
But Santa stood up from the pile in the pitch black night,
And then he snapped his fingers and the reindeer were alright,
He got in his sleigh (which now was okay) and yelled as he rode out of sight,
"A very cool Christmas to all you dudes, and to all a very cool night!"

----------------

So how about you? What made you decide that your words were so valuable that other people might enjoy them? What set you on this tunnel-vision path of hard work and depression and disappointment?

What age did you know you wanted to be a writer? And why?

• Is it a quest for self-expression?
• Is it fame?
• Money?
• A desire to work out of your home?
• A need to see your name in print?
• A fire burning in you that forces you to create?
• A need for acceptance?
• External forces?
• Nothing better to do?
• A higher calling?
• A love of reading?
• Boredom?
• Other?

In order to know where we're going, we must know where we came from...

----------------

I've posted a link to the four Flash Fiction winners on my website, on the Contest page, for a limited time. If you want to read the stories that won, now is your chance.

Also, remember to download BLOODY MARY for free today at http://promo.ereader.com/free

You have to sign up and give them a credit card number, but you DO NOT get chraged. It's 100% legit. And you can also download WHISKEY SOUR for a measley four bucks. If you read my blog, but haven't read my books, this is a quick and simple way to ease your conscience and pay me back for all of the entertainment and information you've received over the years.

Or, you could just send me the 30 cents in royalties.

Happy Holidays!

Short Story and Audiobook Contest Winners

Wow.

I had almost 600 entries in my Flash Fiction Crime Story Contest, and about 500 in the Audiobook Contest.

I read every entry, but because there were so many I can't reply personally to everyone.

I will say that there were many outstanding stories. Many of the flash fiction pieces are publishable. And many of the folks begging for audiobooks brought a smile to my face or a tear to my eye. Thanks to all who took the time to enter!

If you didn't win, that does NOT mean you aren't a good writer or a worthy person. My personal taste is exactly that---personal. If I had the funds to make you all winners, I would. The competition was tough.

For those who don't win, you can still get a free download of BLOODY MARY at http://promo.ereader.com/free on December 23 (see my blog entry below for more info.)

The envelopes please...

BLOODY MARY AUDIOBOOK WINNERS

• A BLOODY MARY audio cassette goes to Mike Heppe.
• A BLOODY MARY audio casstette goes to Steve Shrott
• A BLOODY MARY audio MP3 goes to Patsy Cavender
• A BLOODY MARY audio CD goes toToni Gibson

Again, thanks all who entered! Email me your addresses so I can mail you your freebies.

500 Word Flash Fiction Crime Story Contest Winners

There were so many good entries it came down to me trying to choose apples over oranges. I wound up picking four winners rather than three as I did for previous contests.

I can't stress how hard this was to judge. What made these four stand out above the others was their last lines. A lot of stories ended well, but these were the four best.

FOURTH PLACE - Jeff Greene for his story LESSONS. You win a signed paperback copy of WHISKEY SOUR.

THIRD PLACE - Margaret B. Davidson for her story POLLY PUT THE KETTLE ON. You win a signed paperback copy of WHISKEY SOUR and a signed Ellery Queen magazine.

SECOND PLACE - Don Hornbostel for his story DEATH CHEER. You win a signed copy of BLOODY MARY.

FIRST PLACE - James Viscosi for his story COLD TURKEY. You win $50, a signed copy of BLOODY MARY, and a character named after you in my fourth book, DIRTY MARTINI.

Congrats! I need you folks to email me with your addresses, so I can get your prizes out to you.

Thanks to all who entered---it has been quite an experience judging these contests.

New contests coming in 2006. Keep an eye on JAKonrath.com for details.

Happy Holidays!

E-Book vs Paper: Which Will Win?

Interested in reading BLOODY MARY, but you're super cheap?

Visit www.ereader.com on December 23rd, and you'll be able to download the entire book for free.

How does it work?

1. Visit http://promo.ereader.com/free
2. Fill in some basic info (they ask for a credit card, which is used as an unlock code to open the ebook--no charges are made to your card)
3. Download free eReader software to read the book (many different platforms available, for PCs, Macs, phones, TabletPCs, etc)
4. Download free book
5. Open eReader, open book (using your unlock code) and read

It's a clever little gadget. The text is pleasing and easy to read, and there are some cool features. I've never read an entire book on a computer, but this seems like a painless way to do so. I was leery about giving them a credit card number, but my publisher set up this promotion, so the whole thing is legitimate. The unlock code makes it impossible to share the book with others, preventing file swapping and copying, which is a clever way to protect copyright.

But the big question is: Is this the future of books?

I've thought it over, and have come up with a list of pros and cons.

WHERE E-BOOKS HAVE THE EDGE

COST - E-books are cheaper that print books.
SPEED OF PURCHASE - E-books can be downloaded instantly.
SPACE - Hundreds of E-books can be saved on a device the size of a single hardcover.
PORTABILITY - You can't carry a thousand print books around with you, but you can carry a laptop, tablet, or phone.
POTENTIAL - As E-Books evolve, expect pictures, sound FX, internet connectivity, and other cool things to enhance the reading experience.
ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY - No dead trees or harmful pollutants.

WHERE PRINT BOOKS HAVE THE EDGE

COLLECTIBILITY - People like to amass books (and author signatures.)
FEEL - The tactile pleasure of flipping pages is hard to beat electronically.
WORRY - If you drop you book in the bathtub, leave it on the bus, or set it on fire, it's no big loss. Dropping an E-Book would be bad.
LENDING - Lending books is fun, and many people do it religiously.
BROWSING - Going to libraries or bookstores is an event, surfing a website for dowloads is not.
SIMPLICITY - You don't need batteries, or an expensive gadget. You can read a book anywhere, anytime.
GIFTS - Have you ever bought a download for someone you love? Me neither.
READING TO CHILDREN - The bedtime story would be tough to do in front of a PC.

I don't fear that print books will disappear within my lifetime. While electronic reading will grow in popularity--I do more reading on my computer than I do in print, thanks to the Internet--it hasn't reached the point where it is superior to print books.

A song is a product. It can be delivered to a customer on vinyl, cassette, reel to reel, 8 track, CD, MP3, WMA download, and played on a Walkman, and Ipod, a computer, a record player, a home entertainment system, etc.

A book is a product. But for hundred of years, it could only be delivered to a customer as... a book. The product and the method of delivery were the same.

The electronic age brings a new method of delivery. With music or film, the delivery methods have continued to improve in quality, speed, and convenience.

But watching a movie or listening to music are passive activities. Reading is active. It involves not only involvement with the story, but also with the medium in which the story is presented. Holding a book, reading at your speed, skipping sections, rereading favorite parts, putting it down and picking it up, pausing to reflect, imagining the scene, pretending you're the main character, reading the ending first--these are the pleasures of reading that go beyond the product of written words.

Until technology advances to the point where the delivery system allows for the same experience, print books will remain the prefered method of delivery.

New Years Resolutions for Writers

One more year passed and you're still not where you want to be? Make 2006 the year that 2005 should have been. Here are some resolutions for the unpublished, and the published.


Newbie Writer Resolutions

• I will start/finish the damn book
• I will always have at least three stories on submission, while working on a fourth
• I will attend at least one writer's conference, and introduce myself to agents, editors, and other writers
• I will subscribe to the magazines I submit to
• I will join a critique group. If one doesn't exist, I will start one at the local bookstore or library
• I will finish every story I start
• I will listen to criticism
• I will create/update my website
• I will master the query process and find an agent
• I'll quit procrastinating in the form of research, outlines, synopses, taking classes, reading how-to books, talking about writing, and actually write something
• I will refuse to get discouraged, because I know JA Konrath wrote 9 novels, received almost 500 rejections, and penned over 1 million words before he sold a thing--and I'm a lot more talented than that guy

Professional Writer Resolutions

• I will keep my website updated
• I will start a blog
• I will schedule bookstore signings, and while at the bookstore I'll meet and greet the customers rather than sit dejected in the corner
• I will send out a newsletter, emphasizing what I have to offer rather than what I have for sale, and I won't send out more than four a year
• I will learn to speak in public, even if I think I already know how
• I will make selling my books my responsibility, not my publisher's
• I will stay in touch with my fans
• I will contact local libraries, and tell them I'm available for speaking engagements
• I will attend as many writing conferences as I can afford
• I will spend a large portion of my advance on self-promotion
• I will help out other writers
• I will not get jealous, will never compare myself to my peers, and will cleanse my soul of envy
• I will be accessible, amiable, and enthusiastic
• I will do one thing every day to self-promote
• I will always remember where I came from

Did I miss anything? Feel free to post your resolutions.

The Truth About Publishers

You've been hearing it for years: Once you're published, your publisher won't help you market or promote. After the ink on the contract dries, you're on your own, left to sell your books with zero help from the folks who just plunked down big bucks to publish it.

Is this true? Are the dispirited moans of authors at the convention bar---claiming they remain midlist because they were never 'pushed' onto the bestseller list---based on hard evidence?

Here's what I know, based on my experience.

THINGS YOUR PUBLISHER WILL (PROBABLY) DO FOR YOU

1. Print up advance reading copies (ARCs)
2. Send these ARCs to reviewers
3. Write a press release and send it out
4. Have in-house meetings with marketing and sales to brainstorm hooks for your book
5. Assign a publicist to you
6. Allocate a marketing budget to your book
7. Place you in their catalogue(s)
8. Attempt to sell the subsidiary rights they've attained
9. Edit your book
10. Ask you to complete an author questionnaire
11. Help you set up some book signings
12. Talk about your book to buyers and solicit orders
13. Get your books into the hands of distributors and onto bookstore shelves and online stores

Depending on the size of your publishing house, the above list is usually the bare minimum they'll do. And chances are you won't ever know how much they've actually done, because you may not get to see most of it.

If you want to be involved, volunteer. I wrote my own press release and catalogue copy. I've set up my own booksignings. My contacts led to a Korean rights sales. I send out many ARCs to reviewers on my own dime.

THINGS YOUR PUBLISHER MIGHT DO FOR YOU
Hyperion and Brilliance Audio did all of these things for me

1. Take out ads (about ten so far)
2. Print flyers (several hundred)
3. Print coasters/bookmarks (20,000)
4. Print business cards (1500)
5. Invite you to events (BEA, GLBA, UBA, etc)
6. Have a booklaunch party
7. Send you on tour
8. Hire a media coach
9. Send extra things to bookstores (coasters and drink mix)
10. Provide you with extra ARCs (a few hundred)
11. Listen and act on your marketing ideas
12. Take you out to dinner
13. Get you on local radio and TV (I've been on radio a few times)
14. Get you interviews
15. Give away free copies of your books (over a thousand)
16. Hold contests
17. Involve you with various promotions
18. Pay co-op to bookstores for displays and prime placement
19. Solicit your input on the cover and jacket copy (I wrote mine)
20. Work with you on the final product (every year I visit Brilliance Audio and lend my voice to their recordings of my books.)

Do publishers treat every author the same? No. A lot depends on their budget. But even more depends on the author. Is this an author who is actively trying to augment their efforts? Someone who is enthusiastic about promotion? Someone who works hard and offers ideas?

If I sat on my duff and whined about not getting enough attention, chances are I'd be ignored. No one wants to work with a prima donna, or an artiste. But I've found that EVERY SINGLE TIME I spend time and money trying to promote myself, my publishers are there to back me up.

THINGS YOUR PUBLISHER WON'T DO FOR YOU

1. Get you on the NYT Bestseller list. If they could, every book printed would be a bestseller.
2. Get you on Oprah, Good Morning America, etc. Unless you're a celebrity.
3. Take out a lot of ads. Ads don't sell books for unknown authors (have you ever bought a book because you saw an ad?) Ads are best used to announce a new book from an author with a huge fanbase.
4. Send you on a huge tour. Tours don't make money. Ever. They are for author egos, building bookseller relationships, and meeting fans, more than selling huge numbers of books.
5. Be in constant touch with you. Authors who don't need constant reassurance get more attention than needy authors.
6. Sell your book. A publisher can get bookstores to carry your titles, but they can't make customers buy them. Only one person can do that (hint: you)

Your publisher is your partner. Like a marriage, making demands won't help the love grow. But giving, listening, and actively trying to make your partner happy will be mutually beneficial.

Which brings up the next list, one that new authors (and even many pros) don't ever consider.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO FOR YOUR PUBLISHER

1. Make deadlines
2. Be courteous, considerate, and enthusiastic
3. Be accessible
4. Show them your desire to help
5. Self-promote by going to conventions, doing book-signings, speaking at libraries, soliciting interviews, maintaining a website, sending a newsletter, and all the other things I preach about
6. Be thankful
7. Make them money

In fact, the most important thing you can do in your career is make money for your publisher.

Big advances are nice, but it's hard to earn them out. But if you are earning out your advance, it's a good indicator that your publisher is making a profit, which only happens with 1 out of 5 books.

If they make money, you make money.

So what have you done for your publisher lately?

Massive Website Update

I've been neglecting my website for my blog, so today I did a really big update. Some of the new stuff includes:

• New writing tips
• New marketing tips
• Updated appearances
• New pictures
• New downloads
• New links
• Uncut article After the Book Comes Out (the follow up to After the Big Sale)
• Uncut tour journal
• Updated content on the Super Secret page

What? You don't know what the Super Secret page is? This is a hidden webpage on my site that has cool free stuff, scandalous content, and several surprises. Instructions on how to find it are on my homepage, www.jakonrath.com.

Only a few people have found the page, though some did so by cheating. I fixed it so cheating isn't possible any longer, and it's no longer at the same place it was before.

If you find it, email me, and I'll send you something cool for free.