Excuses, Excuses

That JA Konrath guy is out of his mind. Doesn't he understand that his attitude is all wrong? How can he expect writers to devote as much time to self-promotion as he is? Doesn't Joe know that:

• I have a full time job other than writing.
• I have a family/kids/a husband/pets/plants that need my attention.
• I'm painfully shy and can't speak in public.
• I'm not good at sales---that's why I became a writer.
• It's the publisher's job to sell books.
• I don't like self-promoting.
• All I need to do is write a good book, and people will automatically buy it.
• It wasn't like this years ago.
• If he keeps spouting this crap, publishers will begin to expect it from me.
• The only thing that matters in this business is luck.
• The only thing that matters in this business is talent.
• I have no power: publishers make bestsellers through huge promotion campaigns.
• It's terrible that I should even have to consider any of this stuff.
• Self-promotion doesn't really help anyway.
• The only reason he says this garbage is to get attention.
• My agent/editor/fortune teller/pet rock/God told me I didn't have to self-promote.
• He's setting the bar waaaaaay too high.
• I can succeed without doing any of this.
• I can succeed only doing a tiny bit of this.
• I'm smarter and I know better.
• My publisher is my employer, not my business partner.
• He's a jerk, and jerks never give good advice.
• I need my advance money to pay my bills.
• This business isn't nearly as hard as he makes it out to be.
• (INSERT NAME HERE) is a bestseller, and he/she doesn't do any self-promotion.
• If his books were better, he wouldn't have to self-promote.
• If his publisher was behind him, he wouldn't have to self-promote.
• It's funny how clueless he really is.
• All I want to do is write, and that should be enough.

Did you read Joe's latest blog entry? What crap! He wants me to ask myself the following questions:

1. What do I think will happen if my book has a poor sell-through?
2. How long will my publisher keep buying my books if they aren't making money?
3. Is it easier to sell the first book, or the fourth?
4. Why am I midlist, and can I do something about it?
5. Why do so many good books go out of print?
6. Why do so many good authors get dropped by their publishers?
7. Am I the captain of my own ship?
8. Why do I think I'll still have a writing career in ten years? Five years? Next year?
9. Do I need to think about marketing before I write the book?
10. What if I can't sell my next book? What should I do then?

I'm never reading Joe's blog again. And I'm not buying any of his books either: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary (in paperback June 1) or Rusty Nail (in hardcover and on audio June 30.)

And I'm really not going to buy Thriller - Stories to Keep You Up All Night edited by James Patterson, because he's got a story in that anthology.

And I certainly won't buy him a drink if I see him at Thrillerfest or Bouchercon.

And I'm really going to stop reading his blog because it drives me nuts. Really. I am. I promise.

But first I have to respond to that last asinine entry...